The Alchemist Of Dusk

Creator of FYSH. Creator of nawa-shi. Progenitor of the unholy.

15-Year-Old African Kid Tells Madonna To Go ‘Have Sex’ with Herself

almightykushlord:

Dakarai Molokomme, a 15-year-old starving child from a small village in Zimbabwe, has just told , one of the most famous pop stars in the world, to  and f*** , the local media are reporting exclusively.

“Yes, it’s true, I told Madonna to go f*** herself. Do you want to know why?” Dakarai asked. “It’s the same thing every time with these snobby rich Americans. Every once in a while they come to show us their support for the so-called eradication of poverty by adopting a child from a starving family, but they actually do more harm than good. Transracial international adoptions are part of the white savior industrial complex,” Dakarai explained.

In further discussions with journalists from the media, the  stated that “none of the children here actually want to be taken away from their family and friends so they can be displayed as some kind of trophy in the homes of self-righteous singers or actors who want to score some points with the media and Oprah.”

“If they really want to help us, they should get Big Pharma to ship us some anti-retroviral drugs for the AIDS epidemic, or build schools and hospitals. If they don’t want to do that, then they can all go f** themselves!” the child told reporters.

The 15-year-old also stated that he would say the same thing to any one of those American or European “faux humanitarian posers”, except for Bono, whom he said he would also kick in the groin.

“Bono’s efforts to save the African savage from itself prove that the colonial imperative is alive and well,” Dakarai said as he walked with other village children collecting sticks to build a tree fort.

THIS IS THE RAWEST 15 YEAR OLD ALIVE

(via reeeezay)

1 hour ago - 102818

sernacht:

So, I was in the car today and saw someone with the license plate “X0DUS3 5”, so I thought it was like Exodus 3:5 and I looked it up, and do you know what it said?

"Do not come any closer."

(via reeeezay)

rnicrophone:

bombing:

cop: who the hell ordered all these pizzas

me: you said i got one phone call

image

(via reeeezay)

maddyoverboard:

kiss me until i forget how worthless i am

(via azure-destroyer)

yesthisisminish:

Ruto - Hyrule Warriors

(via lostinhyrule)

Help! There Was A Gay Wedding! What Do I Do Now?

thatbadadvice:

Emily Post’s Etiquette Daily, 23 July 2014:

Q: My nephew, who is gay, just got married in Massachusetts. do I send a card or a gift or both? How do I acknowledge the event?

Who even knows? Gay people are aliens, their customs may be very different from ours. Better not risk it.

(via kagemni)

betta-fish-and-loki:

assbutt-wizard-in-the-tardis:

I’m not even in this fandom, but hearing this made me feel so much better about life

I needed this today.

(Source: fandoms-are-my-one-true-love, via iamthemonolith)

archiemcphee:

This awesome arboreal dwelling is the Living the High Life Tree House created by Blue Forest, a British tree house design and construction firm. It’s a luxury family-sized complex featuring two separate tree houses, one for kids and one for their parents. The elevated dwellings are connected by a network of rope bridges which also lead to an adventure play area and an assault course, the latter of which is also accessible via an 80-yard zip line.

It may look rustic, but this is a top-of-the-line tree house. The kids’ house features three medieval towers, and inside one of them a concealed hatch in the upper floor leads to a secret game room containing a plasma TV and video game console. Meanwhile the grown-ups’ treehouse features a conical thatched roof and interior walls made of hand-split oak shingles and cedar tongue-and-groove boards. Inside there’s a kitchen (complete with plenty of wine storage), bathroom, and a large open living area for treetop entertaining. The complex also features accommodations for guests of the family.

Head over to the Blue Forest website to check out more of their amazing custom-built tree houses.

[via designboom]

(via scienceguy2519)

aceaviatrix:

Yes hello 911? My extremely tall roommate is stuck in my loft bed.

aceaviatrix:

Yes hello 911? My extremely tall roommate is stuck in my loft bed.